Christmas break

Just a note to say I'll be back Jan. 1st. ready to get down to business losing weight and getting healthy....

Pioneering a balance ;)

Honestly this clean eating is not fun.  I've been really strict about doing this 100 days of Real Food but it's getting irritating.  I always feel snobbish saying I'm eating clean and it's about nearly impossible to do this all at once and like it.

Case in point that Ezekiel bread I bought.  

It does not taste good. 

I love to cook, I want to be excited to cook.  I also want to eat as healthy as possible.  

So to find my balance.....because BALANCE is my main issue with so many things...... 

I am going to switch things up a bit and incorporate my favorite of all things food, 

The Pioneer Woman (http://thepioneerwoman.com),

with my other favorite, 100 days of Real Food's  (http://www.100daysofrealfood.com)

Now the biggest issue with the Real Food's is the use of whole wheat.  I've been making my meals with it (using ww pasta in place of regular) and eating whole wheat tortillas and the awesome Ezekiel bread everyday.

Now I'm not self-diagnosing myself necessarily with an allergy to the wheat but I have had 7 of 12 symptoms listed on here.....

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/174405.php

and they have all been super noticeable, especially the asthma, stomach bloating, and my eyes swelling almost shut-UGH!   I've had to use my inhaler at least everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day.  It could definitely be me inhaling the wheat flour as well and it causing a reaction. 

I think I'm O.D.-ing on wheat ;)

So I am going to back off and see if it clears up.  I have no idea what else it could be :(

I am a highly allergic person so it doesn't surprise me.  I once had a skin prick test on my back of roughly 75 items with all but about 5 causing a reaction.  Some hives coming around to the front type reactions.  My mom took me for allergy shots (to desensitize me) and I was too allergic to those to continue.  

So no wheat the next two weeks and we'll see if I am better  :)

Back to the Pioneer Woman, with whom I have NO issues :)  

Her website and pinterest page always make be HAPPY!

Her beef stew and creamy cheddar grits!  I'm definitely making this next week!

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2012/01/spicy-stewed-beef-with-creamy-cheddar-grits/

If I can whip up something 1/2 as good as what hers looks like I will consider that success.  Now I just have to choose a few.  That's going to be hard.

Last note...I'm down 4 pounds this week though!!  Yay.  The 300 calorie burn workout and healthy eating is paying off.  Now the mission is to actually enjoy it.  :)

My life mantra's are expanding :)

I've got a ways to go......

I finally have a Before picture

I finally have a Before picture that is worth posting.  Not that exciting I know.  It's a starting point (again) and is EXACTLY what I needed to see yesterday when we got them back. 

It really needed to be out there in my face because I really just look at the mirror from my shoulders up.

(I'm not tall enough to see further down without getting on my tippy toes.)

I have been SUPER slacking in the eating to lose weight department.  I've been working on clean eating in the hopes of  breaking my horrible cycle of eating diet foods (or doing the NO-whatever it is-diets) and the giving up because they are just gross and making me feel horrible.  

So I've been researching a lot and switching us over to clean eating and its going pretty smoothly except for that darn bread I can't make.   

This week's cleaner food is bread.

Ezekiel bread because I give up making the beast (for now).

Ingredients

Organic Sprouted Wheat, Filtered Water, Organic Malted Barley, Organic Sprouted Millet, Organic Sprouted Barley, Organic Sprouted Lentils, Organic Sprouted Soybeans, Organic Sprouted Spelt, Fresh Yeast, Organic Wheat Gluten.

Here's all about it in.....

http://www.foodforlife.com/about_us/ezekiel-49

It is expensive ($5.00) but the trade out is we won't eat as much and it doesn't have all that filler in it like our previous bread.....

This is the Walmart "Whole Wheat" bread that's probably about $1.50 a loaf or so......

Whole Wheat Flour, Water, Wheat Gluten, Yeast, High Fructose Corn Syrup Or Sugar. Contains 2% Or Less of: Molasses, Soybean Oil, Salt, Calcium Sulfate, Honey, Dough Conditioners (Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Mono- And Diglycerides, Ethoxylated Mono- And Diglycerides, Datem, Calcium Dioxide, Dicalcium Phosphate And/Or Azodicarbonamide), Vinegar, Yeast Nutrients (Ammonium Phosphate, Ammonium Chloride, Ammonium Sulfate And/Or Monocalcium Phosphate), Wheat Starch, Cornstarch, Soy Flour, Whey, Calcium Propionate (to Retain Freshness), Soy Lecithin. Allergy Warning: Contains Milk, Wheat And Soy. May Contain Traces of Eggs And Walnuts. 

(I'm including all this info, not that anyone cares except me, so I can look back to it and remind myself why I'm doing this)

Lucky for me the kids prefer Trader Joe's whole wheat tortillas to bread at all times.  If they didn't it would be way harder to do this.  I really lucked out on this one.

Now if I could get a healthy version of Nutella I would be in heaven!  :)

Needless to say I hit the gym this morning after seeing the pictures.  

Much less enthusiastic as last time for sure and only burned 300 on the treadmill.  

(Luckily I have this guy for a reason to workout) 

I must include that he is NOT shorter than me (freaks him out lol) he's just sitting down :)

And even more so for these 3 cuties......

So my starting weight for this week: 247 (yikes I went up a few lbs)

I'll weigh again on Wednesday so I have a consistent day to do it on.

My food plan for this week is still the 6 meals (about 200-300 cal a piece) and working back up to 1000 calorie workouts.  I think I'll do 300 this week, 400 next, etc. until I'm burning 1,000 each day.  

I always go full speed or no speed so I need to really buckle down and build this up so it's actually do-able.

I just have to remind myself it's my own mind that is standing in the way.  If I can keep my motivation up and stay consistent I can do this.  Why must I sabotage myself?  Ugh....

That being said....

I think I'll start with a cup of coffee and a conversation with myself that starts out with 
"Suck it up, buttercup"

A lesson I learned from Ron Swanson

That's my problem.  

I choose way too many things to do all at once and out of pure time restraint I end up half assing a lot of things.  

It's so annoying.  I can't just be obsessed with one thing either it has to be 5 at a time.  For instance this cleaning eating.  I want to eat the healthiest food out there, lose weight while doing it, save money while doing it, make my own bread, etc while doing it....AND that's where I lost it yesterday....

If my family had to live on the bread I concoct we would never have bread.  The stuff I made is not good, like stray dogs might pass it up not good.  I can NOT make bread to save my life.  Not even biscuits.  I can make banana bread but it's boring after awhile.  It's so sad because I love bread.  I'm going to try one more recipe and if it doesn't work I am probably going to call it bad names and yell at it..  Not like it cares but it makes me feel better if I lay blame on the sad looking loaf, what's it going to do, yell back?

My husband is oh so honest in my cooking efforts, nice, but honest.  New things are not (always) "eww nasty what were you thinking" they are "oh, this is healthy tasting".  Except for last nights biscuits that was something along the lines of "I'd rather lick a dogs butt than eat those again".  Ya that bad. 

So my new plan of action is to focus on clean eating until it's under control.  I'm still going to workout but I'm NOT going to count calories, eat pre-packaged diet food, weigh everyday or even at all and everything else that I know won't work AGAIN.

Ok back to Ron...

I have got to learn how to eat vegetables.  So do my kids.  Brian loves vegetables and I never make them because they are icky.  So I plan on trying at least one new vegetable each week until we've tried them all.  I may have to use my food processor a lot to get them in but if that's the worst food complaint I have I think I'll survive.

My first lesson to learn....

Now to see about making that bread.....

How the Grinch stole your Motivation

It's cold.  It's cloudy.  It gets way to dark, way to early.

Usually this is my favorite time of year.  Now I'm craving some good old sunshine.

Going to the beach and soaking it up.  Ahhh..

I miss Oceanside!!

Until we get to go back though I better get my butt in gear so I can actually live it up there.  I want to learn how to surf.  Oh yah.  But first I need to get into shape.

First thing first.  I got to get my attitude in check.  

I can't do anything if I allow the Motivation Grinch to control me.

I love the Grinch but he's not going to steal my motivation!  I have 3 plans of action for today to battle the Motivation Grinchs.

#1--Motivation Grinch --> Don't feel like it

Plan: Raise Endorphins

So since I'm on a clean eating lifestyle change I am researching natural ways to up my ENDORPHINS.....

Elle does have a point....

When your favorite opening scene in a movie EVER is this.....

Makes you want to go watch it now huh?  One of my all time favorite movies!

You can imagine my excitement that it is #6 of the "Endorphins: 8 natural Boosters"  http://www.rd.com/slideshows/8-ways-to-naturally-increase-endorphins/

I am going to take the advice of this article and try these ways.  I already know the chocolate one works.

#2 Motivation Grinch--> Nothing good to eat

Plan-Be Prepared

So yesterday I made a few things for everyone to get this week organized.  I will post the rest of it tomorrow because I still have to make a bunch of other stuff. 

I replaced all sandwich bread for wheat flat bread....

Pile O' Flat breads (below)

The recipe...from my favorite website....

http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2010/05/26/recipe-whole-wheat-tortillas/

I made the kids whole wheat banana bread for after school snacks.

The awesome recipe...

http://www.fullmeasureofhappiness.com/2011/12/10/classic-banana-nut-bread/

Add some of this peanut butter and oh my goodness...yummy....

and caramel popcorn for after school snacks.

Recipe here...

http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/clean-eating-caramel-popcorn/

I even put a whole chicken in a crockpot to make, well the chicken, but also homemade stock....

No picture :(

But here's the recipe

http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2010/08/09/recipe-homemade-chicken-stock/

Each dinner is planned out and I'll work on those daily.

I am making the weeks worth of 4 meals a day (5=dinner, 6=protein shake) for Brian and I.  I'll post that tomorrow.  Along with the kids homemade fruit rollups--they take 6 hours so Im doing that today.  

#3 Motivation Grinch --> The Scale

Plan-Do not weigh  myself EVERYday.  

Opt for a "Weigh In Wednesday"

Today's weight:  Down 2 pounds! I'm going to just weigh in on Wednesdays from now on because the daily weighing is annoying and de-motivating. 

Off to make some yummy food and pin Christmas ideas.  I'm going to play some Christmas music today and you can't stop me.  

When God smacks you upside your head.

I had a whole negative post ready to go.  Whining about this and that.  It was important to me stuff filled with awesome passive aggressive and smart assy (its a word I'm pretty sure) things.  I only need one little quote or picture to finish it off. 

Then I found this......

The smack at the back of my head, something I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself.....

That is all.

A Wednesday and A Warning

Happy 

And this is how I feel.

I probably should be working out today but I'm not going to.  See pie chart below. Mmmmm....pie.

It's actually pretty accurate.  My actual good reason is I've been taking breathing treatments. 

I'm sure I'd survive if I worked out.

It just sounds torturous!

I am happy to announce, even though I failed miserably this weekend at staying "good".  I still didn't lose nor gain.

So today I'm going to disinfect everything and make protein bars.  Jealous aren't you?

I thought I'd give you fair warning that Bob, our Elf on the Shelf will be arriving in 3 1/2 weeks.  I'll post his goings-on on here with my daily progress.

BUT this time I'm thinking of a twist to it all.  A twisted twist of twistastic proportions.  In other words I'm stepping up my game and even the most anti-elf will have to laugh.  HAVE TO!

It may border crazy but lets face it, I'm already there.  Why not have fun?

Carb coma

I did great during the day but I left dinner open for some Papa Johns pizza and a mini butter-finger, 1 1/2 mini boxes of nerds, regular Pepsi, you get the point sugar in every form.  It was only 1/2 worth it.  I satisfied a sweet tooth for a month.  Basically crashed and fell into a carb coma.  It was pretty powerful too.  I just felt sick.  It was 1/2 worth it to get that reminder that I just can not do that anymore, my body was saying "Idiot, there's a limit" 

The other 1/2 was a mental satisfaction I guess, that I broke the rules, I colored outside the lines.  

A rebel.

I did go to the gym for my "goal workout" (that's what I'm calling it from now because anything less is not doing my best) in the morning so I neither gained nor lost weight for today.  It was a tie :)

The (I will TRY to make it my) usual goal workout = treadmill = jog/run/walk until I hit 1,000 calories.  I want to build up so I'm shaving off my time which is 90 minutes right now because I mostly walk.  < I want to do that 3 x a week and 2 circuits 3 x a week with Sunday off.  If I go out of town I plan to just skip it and not worry about it.  Maybe go for a walk with the kids on a country dirt road or hit up my awesome sister in law for some yoga ;)  

So I have been doing the above for 1 full week and staying on my clean eating plan (Except for the pancreas destroying marathon)  and have lost 4 pounds.   With a grand total lost from July of 17 lbs.  (includes all the start/stops and up and downs).  Its a slow process but its a lifelong commitment.  At least its going down not up or staying :)

This weekend we are going out of town.  I am the WORST at eating good while not in the safety of my house.  This is where EVERY single eating plan goes to crap.  I need to develop an attack plan.  

#1 is to drink only water.  I LOVE Diet Mt Dew, always have.  BUT its my downfall.  Its so sweet tasting that I think I must have something salty to go with it.  I cant trust myself with it.  

With a tear I post this....

That is so hard to look at.  

But its gets better after you read what this particular picture was in reference too...

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/mice-no-match-for-mountain-dew/

eww, eww, eww, eww, eww  

#2 Pack some homemade protein bars.  Ive made some before and they were soooo nasty.  I somehow made them super salty. lol.  Oh well, trying again with a different recipe.

#3 Eat meat and veggies, skip the bad carbs

#4 Pray my mother in law doesn't cook something amazing.  I'm doomed, she always makes something amazing.  

That's all I got.  It's a start at least.

Now for the fun stuff.............my little cuties on Halloween....

 

A "batterina"

 

A pirate skeleton power ranger

Olivia wanted NO part in dressing up so I give you her dislike of pumpkin guts....

I would have trick or treat pictures but they decided to do a scavenger hunt for candy at home.  Brian and I hid two bags of candy around the house and they loved it.  I actually only mentioned to them that, that's what my parents did for us growing up and Ethan thought it was a great idea.  Up until last night I was fully prepared for a change of heart to go trick or treating.  I'm sure we'll go next year but it was fun this year too :)  

Except for Olivia.  She hates it.  She cried every time a remotely scary mask came to the door for candy.

Today I'm getting a money savings, clean eating, gonna conquer the world list going.  But Im going to have another cup of coffee first. I tried this whole week to go with out caffeine.  Not fun!  

Feeling Free....

Maybe its because I actually stuck with my diet and exercise and saw the pay off.....

Down 4 lbs this week!!  Hit my goal.

Or I've finally decided to accept what I cannot change and just be happy....

But I feel fantastic today.  Not physically but mentally.  I had an awesome talk with my husband (who as always has the answer I need to hear versus the answer I want to hear).  

I have been petitioning to finish up nursing education.  As far as a Masters degree was my lofty end goal.  BUT.....

Reality = I only have 6 years of working outside the home and I would use it all up just staying in school.

Why just 6 years?  Olivia will graduate in 6 years at 21.  

Huh?  Did I just write she will be 

21 in 6 years???????

Yep, and she will be home full time in 6 years.  The thing with Olivia is, she will always be with us, she will always need someone to watch out for her every minute she is awake.  That someone is me.  

I pictured me being all "successful" with as Director of Nursing or some high up level nursing job.  I really did. I really thought that would measure my success, my worth. 

I was enlightened that my definition of success was slightly skewed.  My view is now is straight and in line to ensure a happy life.  That's the success.  A happy life.  Happy husband, happy kids, happy mama.

I am going to apply for the bridge RN and full RN program in January but after that, if I don't get in, I'm accepting that's not the path I should go.

That doesn't mean I'll just do nothing (you know besides taking care of 3 kids ;).  I will work as a LPN until Liv graduates.  I actually am (with my sister, Emily) slowly moving forward with a home business.  I could not be anymore excited about it too!  Sometimes plans change.  Just got to keep swimming.  Luckily its in my nature to adapt and go with the flow.  I'm awesome like that.  ;)

Thanks Dory!

Moving right along.......

Weigh In Wednesday

Woo hoo!  I made my weekly goal of -4 pounds!  Weight this morning was 242.  
No workout today.  Last night my legs were cramping so bad, today they are super sore but better right now.  Definitely shooting for tomorrow. 

So last night I made this.  My kids loved it!

Sausage, Egg, Cheese quiche with whole wheat crust.

The crust is made with 1 1/2 c whole wheat flour, 1/2 cup melted butter, 2 tbs milk, 1/2 tsp salt.

The filling is 4 eggs, 1 1/2 c milk, 1/2 lb crumbled sausage, 1/2 c colby cheese.  

Bake in 375 for about 40 min. 

This would be easy enough to double, triple, etc and freeze for a weekend breakfast or another dinner.  Definitely going to do that!  I'm all about saving the money now.  I'll save that for another day.  

Gotta go get the 2nd little from school.  That would be this cutie--> 

2 hours later and the mood is not as happy.  All I'll say is poop, poop everywhere.  Deep breath, I am accepting this, deep breath, it could be worse, not a lot but some.

Slight glitch but made it anyways

Woke up refreshed, awesome, gonna take this day and make it mine.  Then....

Knock, knock, knock ......two little neighbor girls red faced and crying.  "Help, our moms been in an accident"

I probably said "Oh shit" but don't really remember.  Sorry girls for the language.  I get my hoodie on and run across the super muddy yard to see what is going on.

My poor friend is just crying in the back seat of her car, hubby was getting last minute things for the kids.  3 other kids were in the car with her, a couple of them crying just as hard, waiting to be dropped off at school.

I went around to her side to see what happened.  Her arm was tore up, like inside out tore up.  Turns out they were dog sitting and this dog (maybe spooked by the rain?) turned on her.  I hugged her, took the three kids to my house and took all five to school.

When I got back (after my workout) hubby was taking the big dog to animal control, none too happy obviously.  She's back at home and out of harms way.  Thank goodness.

It can happen so fast.  My goodness it could have been so much worse.  It wasn't a little dog, it was a really big dog, like front paws to head up to between my elbow and shoulder big.  Ok, Im not that tall & Im only used to an 8 pound Morkie.

My lesson of the day, thank you God for watching out for her (and it just so happens her husband is off this whole week for vacation--talk about great timing-stinks it's spent this way though)  Thank you God for watching out for my family.  I'm sure on so many occasions we were in harms way but guess what

GOD IS JUST LIKE THIS

I kind of felt guilty working out.  I was super worried for her. I was worried for her husband.  Heck, I was worrying if those kids were going to be sad at school all day.  Then like always God knocks, knocks, knocks and says..

 

So I felt better and burned those 1000 calories yet again.  I was there for 90 minutes but I said screw it.

I am able to do this so I will do this.

Now I was going on pure adrenaline and feeling like I could kick serious butt I forgot my meal #2 but I'm sure it'll even out someday ;)

Oh yah, here is what I had last night.....

This is that homemade Velveeta with some whole wheat noodles.  Yum huh?  I made the whole box of noodles and had left overs for at least two more meals for the whole family.  

I paired 1/2 cup of  that with a meatball ( I made 10 meatballs out of 1lb hamburger), celery stick and homemade ranch (hidden valley ranch packet in some greek yogurt).  That particular ranch dip tasted nasty.....like need to brush my teeth after nasty.  I will try something else ---maybe homemade hummus!

So my goal today is staying on my meal plan --only eating what is already made up for the day.  Exercise is done so I have the rest of the day to sit and rel---- Oh wait I'm a mom.  I need to go pick up Mauryn in about 5 minutes.

Bring it day. 

Tomorrow is Weigh-In Wednesday.  Wish me luck with the scale!